Sunday, June 8, 2014

Strike a Pose

Many years ago I was a different person. I stuck a pose like there was nothing to it.
I lived in New York City. At the age of 14 and 15 (!) What? I did. Spent my summers there. Working. Legitimately.
I was "found" in Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ, not like I was dropped there and CPS "found" me, I was walking around on a Saturday with my friend (as in it was the 90's and I was 13 and what else was I going to be doing?) and there was a fresh face model search contest going on and we were watching and a judge says "you go enter" I say shake my head "no" and he keeps insisting. Well next thing I know the entire mall is staring at me as I walk the runway in my Guess shirt, jean shorts and probably not brushed hair. And then I walk off the stage and we go right into Contempo and there some girl says "they are calling your number" what?! I was asked to come back on stage. I got top 10 out of 200 some people (and by people I mean Kelly Bundy hotties-90's remember) and the rest they say is history.
By the next summer I was in New York City working in magazines such as Mademoiselle, British Vogue, German Vogue, Italian Vogue (what was wrong with American I say?) Teen Magazine, Sassy (yes I am dating myself real fast), Brides (at 14!), Self, did campaigns for Carolina Herrera and Abercrombie and Fitch (before I even knew that was the name of a store). I worked with Albert Elgort many times, worked with and quite possibly offended Bruce Weber and never even knew who these guys were. I was handed the world that I never even thought to ask for.
I had no idea some girls would have killed for the opportunities that were handed to me on a platter and because of that lack of knowledge I threw it away because I didn't want to spend all my school breaks in New York. I wanted to go to Sun Splash with my friends, play basketball, work at Dairy Queen (because my friends did) and then when I realized what I threw away it was too late to even think of trying to get it back.
I didn't dream of being a supermodel. I didn't dream of marrying a super star. I always just wanted to fit in. I hated being a foot taller than my friends. I hated that I never could share clothes with them. I hated being taller than all the boys and when they finally started catching up to me in height then I really gave up that big apple because all I wanted was right here in AZ. A boy friend. A job at the mall. My friends.
Looking back would I change it? I don't know. I hate to live with regret, but I do wish I didn't burn the bridges I did. I wish I knew there were a million boys out there taller than me and I had plenty of time to find them. But I don't know if I would have necessarily stayed with the lifestyle that modeling was. It just was never me. I never felt I fit in. I never felt like I fit in with the models, yet I never felt I fit in with my peers. It was just a mess of a time in my life and before I knew it, it was all over. Poof. Married with kids. And it was all gone. And then more than a decade after my last job I feel run ragged. I feel wrinkled, stressed, broken out and unattractive and I think back to days I was paid $500 for a few hours of work. Back when I felt pretty and I felt special. And I think how did I get from there to here?
So when I saw an old friend from High School who is now an incredibly talented photographer was in town from London to do a Hot Mama shoot I got selfish and booked a session with the one and only Pied Piper!
I had never had to pay for photos taken of me and I could name on my hand 5 other things I should have spent the money on, but I chose to be selfish and spend a day with getting make up on, getting my hair done and feeling pretty. I know I hate that those words are even coming out of my mouth/err fingers?, but I can't help it. It's honest. I wanted to feel pretty again.
And I did. And I love the photos and I have no idea what I will ever do with them beyond using them as my facebook profile and share some here on this blog, but I don't care. None of that matters. Maybe when I die an old lady in my bed you can use these photos to memorialize me :)
So all that leads up to me sharing these photos of me. The me that got made up and smiled for a camera that honestly felt so good to do after so many years of forgetting how that felt. And that's that. This is not my normal me. But it's good to know with a make up artist, a hair stylist and talented photographer I can look like this :) I bet you Lily's bus driver wouldn't even remotely think this is me. Ha! She sees the real me. Lucky lady.
I still remember my Blue Steel

Are you there God, it's me Kim

honestly my favorite.
i think mostly because my teeth aren't perfect.
perfect teeth are boring.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Let's play catch up

I wonder if I didn't have facebook I would blog more. I am sure I would but since I do have facebook..well you know. A 3 sentence status update usually trumps a long drawn out run on sentence of a blog I tend to do. So that's that.
I have had so much I wanted to share. And I always want it to be written pretty with photos and all that jazz that makes one want to read a blog, so then I think of the energy I would need to do that and decide that doesn't win and nothing gets written. And I love to write. I do. I love it. But everything gets put in front and right now my plate is so full I should be 800 pounds, filled with all that stuff on that imaginary plate.
So here I am. At work. With lots of work to do. So this has to be quick. And don't fear for my job, I know people.
I just wanted to give an end of the school year/start of summer update and no it isn't being written from the Bahamas as it should be. Yes I come shamefully with my head down to say my huge proclamation that we will go on another Disney Cruise summer 2014 was just all hype. We did really put a down payment on it. But then I asked for it back to help with our backyard. Ha suckers. We were so caught up last year that we thought, how can we not do this every year. Then life was like... um this is how you don't Disney Cruise every year. A back yard to landscape, a broken hand, insurance refusing to  pay for expensive meds that your child cannot miss a dose of, a company taking some financial hits resulting in loss of a good bonus, um life. Yes life. That silly thing we live in that seems to suck every bit of money and energy we have. So cheers. No bahama mama, no hanging on the deck with Mickey. It's instead work. It's over air conditioned stale air and a computer screen. Cheers.
But I digress... end of the year for Lily.. sucked! Oh thought I was switching gears to awesome, hu? Ha! Fooled you. End of the year was like 100 no Disney Cruise disappointments. 7 years at Ryan Elementary. 7 years with two of the same paras, 5 years with the same teacher equals a lot of sad faces at the end of the year "party". Ha if you call me sobbing my face off, unable to utter a complete sentence a party well then I don't want to party with you.
But I will be positive and say what a blessing it was to have such a SAFE, Wonderful, Caring, Supportive place to send Lily all these years. Never had one fight. Everyone was on Lily's side and wanted the best for her. I never worried about her safety, her well being, her not being entertained, fed, loved on, hair always styled. It was above and beyond and we were blessed.
Here is Lily graduating with Ms. Ashley shaking her hand.
6th Grade Grad! Lily with Ms. Ashley (teacher) and Ms. Marlo (para since kindy)
And here she is leading the 6th grade Clap Out! Sniff Sniff Sniff. Anyone have a tissue?

So proud of her. Although she suffers seizures daily she really lives a good life. She is so loved, she is so healthy and she is just so Lily. It is an honor being her mom and I love that I got this amazing life roll.

So now it is summer. 110 degrees of summer lovin. And I am not complaining. I take your 4 months snow plowing and raise you some swimming and air conditioning. (Did that even make sense? I'm not really much for poker) I rarely complain about the heat. Unless I am doing serious errand running with the 3 kids in the beast that really has no right being driven in an Arizona summer with a/c like it does, and of course the casual "it sure is hot" to relieve me from awkward silence with a random person, but I really don't mind the sun. I prefer the sun. I'd love to throw a beach in the mix but we can't always get what we want.

Andi Jane and Oliver are in VBS this week. Basketball camp next week and Andi is in drama camp the next. I know totally unnecessary to teach that child drama, but she can perfect her art. I asked Oliver if he wanted to go but he said he really can't sing too good and would rather go to Joke camp. So we are still searching for the best place for him to perfect his art. Of jokes. Yes that was a joke. I am not looking for any such thing. But that is really the camp he requested. We could have had smart kids but I find those ones to be overrated.

Andrew and I are off to DC at the end of June for CDKL5 family conference. I am super excited about it for sure, but nervous as I have jobs to do that everyone will see the quality of my work. It's not like behind the scenes oh my Lord who did that, it's oh yeah Kim made those.. snicker... but I will do my best and hope for a gold star. And pray for one night out with my man on the town. It's gonna be a busy time as a board member, but I would really love to site see a little. We are gonna be far from home, away from the kids and mama will need a drink. I am also hoping we can figure some sort of getaway this summer for our anniversary, a non thinking/non working trip. There is a song called Beachin' by Jake Owen and that song makes me wanna run away for a year weekend to a beach town, wear a suit, cover up and slip flops and just dance and make out with my husband. Is that too much to ask? We've been married 13 years this August and dang it we need to celebrate!
I also want a vacation with our kids. San Diego. Beach. Maybe a theme park or two.
And a pony.

So that is my update.

Oh crap. I forgot one thing. This. Yesterday we did this.

Every summer Andi Jane gets fun color pops that always fade by the time school starts back up, I love this little tradition, she is so cute and just loves it so much. Oliver was whining when I told him that he has to hang out at the salon while we girls get our hair done (Lily is attending a little 3 hour 3 day a week summer camp). He wasn't whining because it is boring, he was whining because he wanted his hair orange (he is a little obsessed with Syndrome on The Incredible's, yes the bad guy) and I said no.
We get to John and he inquires why Oliver is sad and I say because he wants orange hair and you don't have any orange... riiiight??? Well leave it to my buddy John to find some orange and make Oliver the happiest kid on the planet. I will be honest, I was not cool with this at first. I think I said he has to just keep his hair normal. And my buddy John (to call John "my hair guy" would be a great insult, John is our friend and a super cool guy who has no problems calling me out when I am out of line (which is so rare, let me tell you), as me to him, and is a super awesome hair dude too :)) says something on the lines of Kim, you of all people I am shocked to hear you say he needs "normal" hair. Touche. You are right. Why didn't I want my son to get color in his hair, just like his sister does. It's summer. It washes out. It'll be back to "normal" in a week or two. Why not. So thanks John for your spicy honesty and making Oliver feel like the coolest kid on the planet. Andi Jane keeps looking in the mirror. Was in tears in the shower today when she saw purple water thinking it all washed out. See drama school not necessary. And me... well I am happy being blond again after a winter and spring of trying to be more "natural" with a dark blonde.

It's summer folks. I will probably catch you all up again next Christmas.

Popular Posts