Sunday, June 19, 2011

This may be a bit rambly, but what else would you expect from me? I've been on the computer for 2 hours working on the IFCR newsletter which I enjoy when I finally get the time to get on the computer and work, but man time just slips away when you do things like that. I have no experience at all, but I think it is coming along quite nicely if I do say so myself :)
I have the USA pageant going on in the background and currently they are on the swimsuit competition. Did I mention I spent all day eating? We had my parents, my sister and her family and my brother and his friends over for swimming and bbq and man we ate ourselves silly. And now I am enjoying a glass of wine, blogging and watching 22 year olds in swimsuits. Hmmmm...
I need to throw in a Lily update before I go off the deep end... She is doing very well since the VNS got turned on. While she still has seizures they are spaced out by days (!) now and she is obviously much happier. It has been so nice to enjoy Lily in her best state. No uncontrollable crying spells, no crazy seizure day, she is really doing well. When she does have a seizure it does appear to be bigger and stronger but as long as they are spaced out to 1-2 a week I think that is a huge accomplishment! The summer has been treating us well so far, she is getting PT in the pool which is her favorite and she seems to be enjoying herself during all the activities we have done so far, movies, lots of swimming and trips out and about.
Today was a nice day, Father's Day. We had a great way to celebrate the dad's in my life. It was also my parents 40th anniversary. 40th! 40 years?! My mom married my dad at 18. Do you know what that means? She spent more than 2x her life with my dad then without. Andrew and I are coming up to our 10 year and I think wow we've come a long way, but thinking about all my parents went thru... holy crap! If I didn't get a good example of sticking it thru thick and thin then I don't know who did. I admire my parents for their commitment to their family and I know it wasn't easy and there were times as a kid I thought they'd be better apart, but thank God they persevered and I think they are truly blessed because of that commitment.
It makes me think about where we were 11 months ago. I was at a point where I didn't think I could stick it through. I felt depleted, finished and quite frankly unwilling to spend years unhappy in hopes for years later of happiness. But you know what, changes I never knew were possible happened and it is what made me reconfirm my relationship with Christ, seeing changes that I knew could only come from him. It just made me see how grey this world is. There is no black and white, it is all shades of grey. There are no exact formulas for life, especially for marriage and parenthood. What I do know is a constant and absolutely important part of our life is our relationship with God. Our beliefs are what make us who we are. Gotta throw some good old country jargon in .... "you got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything" I know cheese ball, but I can't tell you how true that rang for us. Andrew spent a lot of time not standing for anything and he fell. And he fell hard and he took me with him, but I am confident that it won't happen again.
We got married on the sand (literally) and we about washed away. We reconfirmed our marriage on the rocks and I feel certain that we will be celebrating our 40 year anniversary as well 30 years from now. And no it won't always be easy, but we have a foundation we never had before and that changes everything.
Evening gowns now and battery almost dead. I think I am just about dead tired too.... not even sure what this all says but I'm tired and rambling seems to be all I'm good at these days. I am still working on sharing our story, but it just never seems to come out exactly how I want it to. So for now I will just say good night.

1 comment:

Jenna said...

My name is Jenna and I came across your site. Ur daughter is an amazing, special and precious gift. She is beautiful and has a beautiful smile. Lilyanna, is a courageous, strong and determined fighter. She is a brave warrior, smilen champ and inspirational hero. I was born with a rare life threatening disease.

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