Saturday, April 30, 2011

Ramblings of a stressed out mom

I don't ever remember the Family Circus mom ever looking frazzled, but I always remember Cathy being frazzled and that seems odd to me. Cathy was over worked and I assume underpaid, but c'mon the Family Circus mom was by far even less underpaid. Maybe she did have a stressed out moment, I'm going off some pretty old memories, but I just wonder why she didn't have her hair more frazzled like Cathy's.
I feel like my hair is totally frazzled. I get like this from time to time. I know I am allowed and as long as I don't stay in this frazzled place I'll be just fine. But I am frazzled nonetheless. I'm just so tired of drives to Phoenix for so many Dr. appointments. I am tired of keeping up on Lily's meds which I knew I cut too close and now we may be a day or two without, one that isn't FDA approved that we get from Canada that I simply cannot drive to Walgreens and pay for a couple pills so I have to hold her over. In my defense I called just in time, they were having issues with the credit card and didn't get ordered until Monday am, should have been in the mail but I guess Easter Monday is a holiday in Canada? It should have been expressed mail but they didn't. There are several issues, but I should have called with plenty of time, not just in time. Story of my life. I have enough bigger guns to hold her over and I am sure she will be fine, but it still sucks, leaving me feeling less than and stressing over her.
Even with the right meds she is a mess so who knows what will happen. Yesterday was bad. The dogs barked, woke her up from a cat nap, scared her and she started screaming, then after about 5 min of uncontrollable screaming she went into a bad seizure. Then she was tried and crabby the rest of the evening. We had plans to go to a friends so we asked our caregiver to stay later and give her a quiet evening at home with out us loud folks and when we came home she was happy. Caregiver said they walked for almost an hour and she was so happy. The only reason they came back was it was getting dark. Thank God for such wonderful people working with Lily.
Next week Lily has a follow up on her afo's on Monday and Wednesday is surgery. But after surgery Lily and I will be staying at home resting. I am not sure how long she will need to stay home for but I am planning her being out Wed to Monday.
It's 7am on Saturday morning. I got up when Andrew's alarm went off at 5:45am. I decided to put a pot of coffee on and get up. I've enjoyed spending the hour in the quiet doing what I want to do. But right now I can hear Oli singing what sounds like twinkle twinkle, but not one word is clear but his tune says twinkle twinkle. I have no idea why people get those big kid beds out. Oli will be in that crib until I'm thinking high school. I know he can't take it to college so we'll have to remove it maybe junior year?
I came here to tell a few Andi stories but I guess my days are consumed with concern for Lily I got sidetracked, but since I promise ramblings in my title I might as well fulfill that promise.
I wanted to share that the other evening Andi says "now he's gonna get really sleepy!" in regards to Oli. Andrew and I both say "Why?!" in quite a panic, thinking we've got benadryl, we've got klonopin, dilantin, topamax, banzel, etc you name it we've got it, so of course we are nervous. She says "I made him warm milk!" "oh" we say with a sigh....
And I wanted to share one more and this isn't really a funny story it is just kind of what we deal with on a minute by minute basis with a child with a mind that runs faster than a cheetah.
I'm in the middle of a lecture about her guinea pig, Elmer. She loves him. Will sit on the couch with him for hours, but he's gonna be a Weekend with Bernie Elmer soon by her lack of feeding him and giving him water. So I am in the middle of my you really wanted Elmer, you promised to care for him, Andi you have to see his water low and fill it.....
"mom did you know kangaroo's don't drink water"
Silence.
And there you go as promised ... rambling of a stressed out mom. Off to get Oli who has now resorted to pushing the hand of the Build a Bear bunny who sings "all the single ladies" via Chipettes. Now he knows this will get him out.

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